On a slow news day in January, this story is often wheeled out and it can make for pretty depressing reading – January is the month during which most divorces are filled. But does it really need to be like that?
I did a little investigating and apparently, it’s true. Not only that, but the day after Christmas sees a huge increase in web page views and searches. According to Certified divorce consultant Cathy Meyer, who spoke to the Huffington Post, ‘people start looking for information before the New Year starts, but they can’t do much until the attorneys are back in the office.’
So why is this the case? Is it the stress of Christmas that makes people want a divorce? Is it the pressure that we pile on ourselves for the ‘perfect’ family time? When the reality doesn’t match up to our ideals, do we decide it’s all too much?
It seems that this time of year is a natural time for reflection and reassessment of our lives. Divorce lawyer James Gross says “Unhappy spouses assess their situation and say to themselves, ‘I just can’t take another year like this.’ The holidays are also a time when emotions run high and if you are unhappy or angry in your marriage, the holidays may push those feelings to the breaking point.”
I suppose we all know that no one gets divorced because there was too much squabbling over Monopoly or they got a rubbish present. Christmas holidays simply bring to the surface, the problems that were already there in the marriage.
For those who have been divorced, you will know that divorce is certainly not an ‘easy option’. Many may feel that their relationship is just too much hard work, but divorce is also a very difficult journey to go on. In The Mail, it was reported that 50% of people regret getting divorced.
So, as you reflect on life over the last year, what are your thoughts? Are you happy? Do you consider your relationship to be thriving? Do you look forward to 2017 with your spouse? Or does the prospect fill you with dread?
Whatever is going on in your relationship, do you feel you could plan to do something positive with your partner today? Experts tells us that relationships can change over a simple gesture of kindness or sign of love. The smallest token of reaching out can change an atmosphere in the home and your future together.
So maybe you want to make space to talk of an evening, perhaps a walk in the country or take some time to think about the things you used to do together.
If you want some outside input and want to hear from ordinary couples, book in a date to come and hang out with us. You won’t be preached at by perfect couples, but we’ll share in a light hearted way where we have stumbled and struggled and we’ll also think about what are the key ingredients for a strong, happy, thriving relationship.
You can find us all over the country in 2017. More details at adaytogether.org
Jo Arkell Jan 2017