Charli Mathew shares her eye-opening experience attending A Day Together (ADT) before and after getting married.
A Day Together in Newcastle in October was mine and Dave’s second time doing the course. Dave and I got married on the 17th July 2015 and we did ADT whilst we were engaged, almost exactly two years ago. This year our church, Christchurch Newcastle, hosted ADT and as well as being part of the hosting team we were able to sign ourselves up again as a couple. We weren’t exactly sure beforehand how much we’d get out of the day the second time around: being aware that the material was the same, even though there were differences in speaker couples. However we didn’t need to worry! Our second shot at the day has certainly convinced us as a couple that this course is something that every couple should be doing – and not just as a one off, but regularly.
Our experience of ADT as an engaged couple and two years down the line, one year into marriage was totally different. We found it hugely helpful whilst engaged in preparing us for some of the issues that we would face together as a married couple, but as we hadn’t lived together, a lot of the material was fairly theoretical to us at that stage. Even today we aren’t a couple that fight much: but at that point we REALLY didn’t have much to talk about in terms of conflict. A year down the line things aren’t theoretical anymore!
We are both busy working as Junior Doctors and contrary to the belief of some current politicians we don’t have a huge amount of free time to spend together. Having a day set apart, with permission to talk freely about the big things and the small things in your relationship was a huge joy and very restoring for us amongst the bustle of everyday life. Our conversations were inspired by the honest stories of the speakers, which we could now relate to on a new level.
The main benefit of the day comes from those Couple Times, when you can look each other in the eye, ask probing questions and give your partner your undivided attention. Even mobile phones stayed firmly out of sight the whole day! I think that may be a first for our first year of marriage…
Find out more about A Day Together and forthcoming events here
You can buy gift certificates for friends and family to attend A Day Together HERE.